“Death will come
And it will have your eyes”, Pavese says
“Not mine, I say
Because I’ll have them before her.”
In the meantime, I would like to say that, despite all the adversities I had to face in life, I have achieved what I wanted to achieve: to understand my fellow men, the universe and the world in which I was born and lived. In my way I understood them.
Sure, I could have committed suicide without saying a word, as most suicides do. Instead, I do the opposite, I write the reasons that led me to this act and I say that for me suicide was one of the most convenient things of my life: I could get rid of it when and how I wanted.
My death, therefore. In fact, I had already decided on this act towards the end of the Sixties, in Paris. Then it didn’t happen. Then, the “then” of this time, became the then of today and between these two “thens” passed more than 50 years. I reasoned like this in those past times and I still think like this:
Being born from nothing and then returning to another nothing without a “but” and without a “why”, is not fun for a mind that thinks and from any point of view one sees it.