Destiny can wait

You get up one morning and you realize that your feelings are not the same as they were the morning before. Well, nothing wrong with it. Feelings change, are never the same. Yes, but aren’t exactly the same old feelings, this time. This time your feelings have nothing to do with the usual way you feel, this time they are totally new, unrecognizable.

In any case, you’ll follow the morning routine: Pavarotti, push ups, stretching, shower, breakfast. The day is lovely. From your terrace you can see the mountains. They are full of snow. You got the impression, when they are so much stuffed with snow, to be able to touch them with your hands. Marvellous white, marvellous view.

The coffee, the toast, the orange marmalade, the arome, all nice, but not so tasty and appetizing as usual. Why? Something queer is hunting you.

After breakfast, you start preparing your rucksack, your mountain climbing sticks, your snow rackets, sandwich, fruit, drinks, everything. You do all these things as you have done them a thousand of other times, but is it really the same?

No, it’s not the same. There is something strange in the air. You know it, you feel it, you can’t hide it to yourself. You are not the same man you were one hour ago, just before getting up. Not the same man. At all. What has happen then, to change you from one moment to the next so radically? I don’t know. Don’t you? No, I don’t. And anyway, I don’t want to know. I ignore everything about it. I never thought of it before. Why should I? In fact. And now, you understand what’s about this strange feeling of yours? Yes, I do, I do! It’s funny, you know. Everyman has some sort of experience about this or that, but about this phenomenon no one knows anything. So do I, I don’t know a damn thing about it, rien de rien. It’s all dark.

How can I say it? It’s difficult, I just can’t. And even if I can say it, what’s the use? No one listens to you about this matter. Only psychiatrists, and they do it for money without resolving your problem. The whole universe in this matter is deaf, dumb and blind. It’s the unnamable. So? It’s hard. Yes, but, at least, it’s clear. What a consolation! Don’t be sour. The question is, how could you live now, now that you are so acutely conscious about it? How can you accept this silent pernicious compagnon of your life and live as before? I don’t know.

What did you do to deserve it? Did you ask somebody? Ask what? To come into this world? You’re crazy? What is then your crime? None. The whole thing is stupid and sickning. What to do? Nothing, because there’s nothing you can do. It’s just a dirty business, the dirtiest business in a man’s life. You’re not alone in this affair. I don’t care about the others! And then it’s not true. You’re damn alone. You’re sure? Yes, I am. How could you be so sure? Listen, when you talk like this, I think your brain has gone.

The point is, how can you, when the time is ripe, face it? Like all those who faced it before me. It’s not so simple as you think. May be, but it’s not for today. It doesn’t change anything. What do you mean? The time goes fast. I know. Where are yuo going now? To the mountains. Destiny can wait!

INVITATION: pass it on, share, say what you think. In order to grow and mature in cultural terms (not in biological terms, nature takes care of that), we need to understand, to communicate, to confront one another, to say what we think, whether nice or not so nice. Just do it! Life is the here and now, and doesn’t come again! Don’t lose this opportunity of confronting yourselves and your peers. We are all human beings! This is what is recommended to friends of the Web by Orazio Guglielmini.